


wounds, scars and everything in between

by KimDenn



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: But only a little, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, I suck at this, Kinda, Light Angst, M/M, Pre-Slash, Responsible Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, i still don't know how to tag, soft steve rogers, soft tony stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-26 22:07:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17754362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KimDenn/pseuds/KimDenn
Summary: "You know, wounds don’t heal because people like to scratch it. Scratch the scab and watch it bleed, fascinated."Or in which Steve is as always, stupidly worried and concerned. And someone is sleep deprived.(Guess who)(Spoiler: Its Steve, for a change)





	wounds, scars and everything in between

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo, I got excited and posted it immediately (using my phone which is hardd) soo, say hi mistakes! sorry in advance if they're ooc or smthg. Trish, maccachin, chinchin, macaroni-sama, whatever u wnat to be ur name, this is for u

Steve frowned from his place on the couch while nursing a mug of coffee. The television was on, featuring no one but his very own Tony Stark. A reporter, one who was lucky enough to push back against the bodyguards practically shoved a microphone in front of Tony. The action was followed by a rude and unnecessary and very hurtful question.

But as usual, the man skirted around the question and answered it with a joke, that was, as usual at his own expense. He laughed at the reporter’s face and rolled his eyes. He continued to walk, but the reporter still not satisfied, posed another question. One that made Steve clench at the mug. Steve exhaled and brought the mug down from the coffee table, not risking he break it and spill coffee on his lap.

“Mr. Stark, you have been hailed as a hero right now, for all the things you did as Iron Man. But do you think what you’re doing right now is enough to compensate for all the effects of your doings when you were the so-called “Merchant of Death?”

As if fueled by the question, the other reporters started pushing back harder, asking questions in the same line.

“Mr. Stark! Do you think you deserve to be part of the Avengers?”

“Did your dealing as the “Merchant of Death” affected the Avengers’ vision of you?”

“Mr. Stark, did Captain America approve of you being part of the Avengers? Does he think that you deserve to be on the t-”

Steve’s breath came out harsh. He was gripping the remote control with shaking hands as he stared at the screen with a gaze so hard and so angry that the tv would have turned to dust if he has the power to do so.

He will never get used to Tony being on the spotlight with those piranhas. God how he hated reporters. He knew that they have the responsibility to report the truth and whatever glittery shit they spewed when they were called out for being too rude but did he want to sock that woman right in her ugly pink lipsticked mouth.

It was always Tony in the spotlight, it was always Tony thrown with barbed insults and sharp underhanded comment, always Tony who takes the fire, the explosion and the damned paparazzi. Always him who was hurt. Always him who has to fake a smile, who has to answer question that aren’t even necessary, questions that are made to hurt and to disarm and to gut. It was always Tony who was cut open with insecurities and hate and judgement. God, it was always Tony.

And he hated it. He hated how Tony laughed at every questions turned his way, he hated how Tony has to pretend that it doesn’t hurt, he hated how Tony has to skirt away from questions regarding him and regarding the Avengers only to turn his answers into a joke that will always hurt him the most.

He was so tired of it. Tired and hurt and sad and every negative feeling there is because Tony deserved better.

~.~

“Captain, my Captain--” Tony paused, the joke getting caught in his tongue when he got a glance of Steve.

The man was still sitting at the same place where he was watching the television, looking very much like a kicked puppy. Steve looked up at Tony with his blue eyes, all wide and apologetic and hurt and mad. It was the look he gets when someone insults a person he loved dearly and he can do nothing about it.

“What’s wrong Cap? What, someone insulted Natasha’s virtue again? I told you she can protect herself. You should instead place your pity at the ignorant man who said whatever they said because the Widow’s going to rain hell on them.” Tony said patting Steve distractedly in the head as he looked at the phone that vibrated using his left while the right tried to wrangle with his necktie.

Tony looked up after a moment when the Captain still didn’t answer. He still has the same look in his face, except that his lips was slightly jutting out as if stopping a pout but failing ultimately. God, Steve is so cute.

“What, so it’s not Nat? Who then Bruce?” When the Captain shook his head, Tony frowned and tried to wrack his head about the news he read or watch lately.

“Thor? Clint?” He tried but the man was still sulking looking down at his neglected coffee. The engineer sighed at this, a little bit amused at the childlike behavior. The super soldier was always like this, exhibiting childlike and very much adorable behavior from time to time. And now that they were closer, the pouty Steve seemed to rear its head even more. Specially when he can’t do something to help someone he liked.

“So it’s not the Avengers? Who else important is there…” Tony trailed off grabbing the neglected coffee at the coffee table and bringing it to his lips, taking a sip as he tried to think who’s virtue was insulted for the week.

“Was it Pepper? Rhodey?” When the man still shook his head Tony groaned and leant back at the armrest, bringing his foot on Steve’s lap.

“Aw shit sorry.” Tony muttered and was about to bring his foot back down when he realized that he was still wearing his shoes. Before he can move though, his pouty friend grabbed his calf with his warm hands, steadying it before removing his shoes.

“Thanks.” The Iron Man was silent for a moment, watching Steve as he removed Tony’s shoes, dropping it a bit heavily and soon moving to his socks. After he removed the socks, the good Captain squeezed a foot and started massaging it.

Tony let out a moan and let himself get more comfortable, god he loved Steve. When he found a more preferable position the brunette gave the blond a warm smile, his eyes crinkling at the edges. It was soft and indulging and full of unsaid feelings unseen by the man who was busying himself with the massage, still not looking at Tony, and oddly looking guilty.

Despite the obvious and adorable sulking, the atmosphere was comfortable and Tony can’t help the hand that clenched above the arc reactor, it felt weird, like somehow the arc reactor was replaced by the sun. Spreading honey like warmth throughout his body, chasing away the dredges of the cold and harsh memories of the flashing cameras and microphones shoved in his face.

“I can’t think of anyone important that was shoved in the reporters’ way today, or yesterday, or last week.” Tony said tilting his head to the side. He raised an eyebrow when Steve flinched, eyes stubbornly avoiding his gaze. Okay, he was a little bit worried now.

“Okay Cap, spill. What happened?” Silence.

“Winghead cmon.” The nickname made Steve look up for a moment. But once brown met blue, the Captain looked down once again. Steve slumped at his position, his head bowing even more as his jutted lip started to quiver. Tony was alarmed now. Just what the fuck happened?

The engineer rubbed his eyes tiredly. He scooted near the obviously distressed man, crossing his legs when he was beside Steve. Slowly, Tony rested his hands on Steve’s cheeks, making sure he can turn away if he wanted. Steve however, held himself and let Tony tilt his face to the side so they’re facing each other.

“Steve buddy, you need to use your words or I can’t understand you. We already talked about this didn’t we?” Steve’s eyes was shining with unshed tears, his lips quivering. But what Tony really took note of was the bags underneath his eyes and his slightly wan pallor. Huh so that’s the problem.

“Steve. You didn’t sleep for days again didn’t you.” He paused for a moment waiting for an affirmative. When he didn’t get any, Tony sighed, in amusement and worry. “Steve I told you that just because your a super soldier does not mean that you have to push your body to the limits. Let me guess, you didn’t sleep for a week no? See, now your all emotional and you probably heard something you didn’t want to hear. Why didn’t I notice it?” A pause. A groan. “God, I just remembered, I was in an engineering spree this week. Steve how many times do I have to tell you that if you need something you tell me okay? Even when I’m building something and in a daze. Sleep is important, don’t look at me that way. We already established that its hypocrital but I’m used to it and you’re not. See look, your getting teary eyed from something probably not important.”

Tony rambled, still not taking his hands off nor leaning away. The soldier still remained silent, but now staring at Tony with those huge, pitiful and soulful eyes.

“Caaaap, use words I can’t understand you.” Tony whined at the Captain.

“C’mon, who’s virtue was dirtied today? It wasn’t Avengers or Pepper or Rhodey. Was it Sharon? Your getting pretty close to her these days. But she’s also a super spy so it can’t be her? There’s no one important left Steve-” Tony paused when Steve’s lips wobbled.

“No one important left.” He repeated and a part of his mind was amused when his eyes shone even more with tears.

“You.” Steve’s voice cracked and for a moment Tony frowned his brows, confused at what Steve was saying. Him? What did he mean-

“Mr. Stark, did Captain America approve of you being part of the Avengers? Does he think that you deserve to be on the team?”

“Oh.”

“Sorry Tony.” Steve said, his voice cracking dangerously. One moment he was facing Steve and the next he found himself surrounded by one huge super soldier. The faint smell of paint, cheap soap (because Steve is so frugal) and something uniquely Steve made him relax. Steve was shaking a little in his arms, as he muttered apology and something about deserving something.

Tony felt a little awkward, because this was the first time he dealt with a crying Steve in daylight. These kind of encounters usually happened at night, where they were shrouded by something akin to magic, making their tongue and inhibitions lower than usual, letting them bare their soul to the other.

But it was daytime today, no night and no magic but Steve was crying. And that made Tony shake his head, trying to get his head straight. Steve needs him. He should deal with this before he start thinking about midnight and stars and soul baring talks.

“Steve c’mon, its okay. I have dealt with press a lot of times. This was nothing new, I’m used to it don’t worry. I’m not hurt or anyth--”

“No.” Steve sobbed, muffled by the expensive white button up of Tony that was currently getting wetter by the second.

“S’ always you. Always you they hurt and they tear apart. M’hate it” Despite the tears and the supposedly sad situation, Tony can feel the edge of his lips tugging up, Steve really is precious.

“I’m a big guy Steve I can take it. Besides I can take them down a peg or a hundred if I feel like it. I’m meaner than them Steve, don’t worry.”

“No.”

“Still no huh?” Tony said softly, carding his fingers on Steve’s hair as he buried his face on Tony’s shoulder. The normally towering man looked so small today. Small and young and vulnerable. And he actually was young. Tony paused in his actions before continuing it, something in his heart clenching. Because Steve was barely in his thirties. He was young, younger than Tony at least, and he was already faced with so much pain, muddled by sadness and loneliness no man his age should feel. Barely thirty and he already lost everyone in his life.

“They always do that.”

Tony shifted a little. “Hmm?”

“Why do they do that?” Tony took a moment to think of his answers, before sighing and resting his head on Steve’s.

“You know, wounds don’t heal because people like to scratch it. Scratch the scab and watch it bleed, fascinated. It’s the same I suppose. Except it was other people, the reporters, that likes to scratch at it. They like to watch you bleed and get hurt, fascinated by all the pain they cause. That’s not all of them of course. There are a handful of people that actually cares about their country you know. But Steve, some people are just like that. It’s because you’re kind I suppose. You always do what you think is best and expect the best out of other people, expect them to do the same. But they don’t and well… you get hurt.”

“I wish people would stop that.”

“Me too Steve. Me too.”

There was a long pause. Silent and contemplative as both man thinking of the implication of their words at each other.

“It’s why you have scars you know.”

“Huh?” Tony asked, confused.

“Because a lot of people like watching you bleed, like watching you get hurt. And you let them. Because deep inside you know you deserve it. You actually believe the words they said don’t you?” This time it was Tony who can’t speak, who got his words caught in his throat, wondering when did the conversation turn to this, turned to him and feelings.

“But you don’t Tony. You don’t deserve to bleed to out while everyone watch as you get torn. You don’t deserve the harsh criticisms and the judgements. In fact those judgements aren’t true. You are so much more than what they tell you. You are handsome and charismatic, smart and witty, you are kind and generous, you think of everyone before yourself. Heck you don’t even think about yourself. You tell everyone that you are a genius playboy billionaire philanthropist, you made yourself look shallow and selfish but you are not. You are not good, you are kind.”

Tony felt frozen at the tirade, like a deer in the headlights, but Steve continued on, voice a little muffled from his position in Tony’s neck.

“When you do not do anything bad, you are automatically good. But you are more than that, you’re kind Tony. You can’t just sit still and not do anything. You move. You act. People told you that it was not enough, that you are nothing, that all your efforts are not worth anything but still, you did not give up. Even when it hurts. Specially when it hurts. You make everything sound as if its about you but deep inside you think the opposite. Nothing is about you, so it doesn’t matter if it hurts, because you think that you don’t matter but you do. I-I--”

“I care about you Tony.” The words were whispered in Tony’s neck, soft and like a caress. “I care about you so much and it hurts when they say that. Because you deserve so much more, so much better. And I hate that everyone can’t see that.”

“I-Steve,” Tony swallowed, his throat closing up as he felt his eyes blur.

“I care about you Tony and you deserve all the good things you have now and more. Don’t let that ugly pink lipstick lady tell you otherwise.”

The brunette closed his eyes, dropping the walls and letting a few tears slip by. His arms went around the blond in his arms, as if leeching off on the warmth while he still have it. God, Steve. He can’t just spring all that in to Tony. What the heck was that about. God- “Steve I lo-”

What he was about to say was cut off a loud snore in his neck. The engineer paused and tried to look down at the man, but he can’t really see much. He was about to say something when another snore, this time softer, was released by the other man. Tony can’t help but laugh at this, gosh only Steve will fall asleep at a very emotional conversation that he started in the first place.

“God Steve you idiot, I love you.”

And if Steve didn’t hear it well, above the vent was Clint video recording the whole exchange and behind them, on the hallway was Natasha signalling on Clint to send him the video and well, they miiighhttt accidentally leave the video playing on the screen the next time Steve decided to watch the television. Who knows, they were tired of seeing idiots being idiotically dense.

**Author's Note:**

> What is Infinity war? What is endgame? Sorry but I live in the year 2012 where everything is fine and no one turns to dust or is starving to death in a spaceship.
> 
> Anywayss, I would like to thaank those who commented and kudo-ed my last fic, "first date", you guys are so awesome and you almost made me cry. Comments makes me happy :') Anywys, comments in any shape or form are welcome and makes me happy, kudos too. Thank you for reading~


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